“I’m not an expert” & “Someone else is already doing that.”
I read somewhere that there is no such thing as confusion. That if you’re confused, you’re simply refusing to listen. Whether or not that’s true, the confusion that I’ve seen in my clients seems to mask a sense of lack that is at the root of two basic things:
- Either you don’t feel like you’re capable of serving the people you most want to serve, or
- You don’t think you deserve to have the life you want.
I’d like to address these two limiting beliefs because they are, by far, the most common ones that I hear.
I’m Not an Expert
I’ve heard people who have invested many thousands of dollars and countless hours into their education or certifications say this. It is so easy for us to feel inadequate. It is so easy for our insecurities to shout more loudly than our confidence.
Your skills and talents are valuable. Trust me on this. I have it on good authority that you’re an amazingly talented, brilliant, and incredibly valuable citizen of the world. Your special brand of awesomeness isn’t only needed, it is essential to the planet. The entire world is rooting for you.
I know it can be hard to believe. I know it’s easier to believe and hear all the voices of criticism and failure—all the voices that are trying desperately to keep you small and safe.
I have them, too. We all do. But, you can’t let them run the show.
Don’t wait for the luxury of fearlessness. It will never come.
Give yourself permission to start. To not have to be perfect before you can begin. Realize that you are not broken, that there is nothing to fix. You can begin, just a little bit, right now.
Risking the judgment and rejection of others is like soul CrossFit.
Taking intentional action towards a specific goal builds resiliency and self-trust. But every time you avoid taking action or take action toward something you don’t want, you sabotage yourself and decrease your self-worth.
Let yourself be scared, and take action anyway. Then the fear stops having any control over you.
Risk the judgment and disapproval of others and you own it. The very instant that you risk their disapproval over your life choices, marketing choices, eating choices, workout habits, lifestyle, partner choice, business decisions—the very instant that you dare to be exactly who you are—their opinions lose all their power over you.
It might still hurt, piss you off, disappoint you, or otherwise upset you, but continuing to take the steps you need to be you will get much, much easier.
Besides, no one really expects you to be perfect anyway.
Have you ever heard the expression that to a fourth grader a fifth grader is a god? Remember that time? When you were younger, someone who was just a year or two older seemed to know everything.
It’s still that way. Most of the time, the people we most admire, the people who seem to just have all their shit together are just as lost and bewildered by life as us. They’ve just figured out a few lessons that we haven’t.
And wouldn’t it be beneficial for those people, even in their own life-messiness, to share a few of their lessons with us? Of course it would. We don’t need them to tell us everything. We don’t even need for the to know it ALL. We just need for them to share a few of the things they’ve learned so that we can learn what we need to in our own way.
That’s the same thing that your Right People need from you. They don’t need you to be perfect. (You can’t be anyway, so don’t bother trying.) They just need you to share a little of the knowledge you’ve gleaned in your time on this planet, and they need you to share it in your own special way, which leads me to the second most common limiting belief that I hear.
Someone Else is Already Doing It
No kidding. Someone else has pretty much already done everything. That thing that you love to do? Someone else out there is probably already doing it. Lots of someones, in fact.
Do it, anyway.
There might be a thousand people who are already doing that thing you love to do. They might already be making tons of money at it. It might seem like they’ve already made all the success, fame, and money that’s possible.
Do it, anyway.
Why? Because your Right People need to hear it from you. Your Right People are listening to your message come through a bunch of other people’s voices and they can’t hear it because they need your special sense of humor, your no-nonsense approach, or your big, bleeding heart to come through the words.
They need your special brand of Awesome. They need your brilliance, your wording, your values to shine through. Sure, they can go to someone else, and they might even like it just fine, but they’re really looking for you. You’re the one they need. And they’re settling for someone else right now because they can’t find you.
So show up. Shine your light. Do your thing. And do it your way.
Invite in your quirkiness. Channel your inner silliness/beauty/shazam. The more you show up as exactly yourself, the more you will resonate with your Right People.
Your solution? Your lesson? Your message? They need to hear it from you.
Keep both of these in mind when you’re building your biz and taking bigger risks. There will always be reasons–good reasons–to stop yourself. What are your reasons to move forward?
Leap and the net will appear. ~ John Burroughs