Stop looking outside yourself for how to run your business.
I know it’s tempting, especially when you’re struggling or you’ve hit a ceiling with your success and other people seem like they have ‘it’–the elusive something that ensures success– all figured out. It may seem like they have special knowledge, help or opportunities that you just don’t have access to.
But, my dear, this entire line of thinking is just another way you sabotage your success.
First of all, comparison is always an act of self-abuse.
Every time. So, comparing your success and journey to someone else’s is never supportive.
And second, looking to an ‘expert’ for help, looking to someone for answers simply because they helped someone else, isn’t necessarily a great strategy for you.
It may seem smart and rational to look for outside help, but if you’re doing that at the expense of your own insight because you can’t sink into your own experience enough to look for your own joy, that actually dishonors the wisdom within you.
You’ve got so many smarts around your life and business, but for many of us, it can be really hard to trust them.
So many of us have been taught that we need to compromise ourselves in order to succeed.
This self-compromise can be as subtle as staying small or quiet when we’d rather speak up, or as big and impactful as making choices to do things in our businesses that compromise or sabotage us, like doing work for free, working with clients who don’t appreciate us, or keeping our prices too low.
This is especially true for women in business. In a culture that focuses on a masculine paradigm of competition and conversion, there is little room for the values of intuition, grace and ease.
‘Work harder’ and ‘push through’ seem to be the rallying cries for so many of us.
So, what’s the solution?
Get clear on what you want.
This is both simpler and harder than it sounds. Getting clear on our deepest desires gets us in touch with our soul’s yearning for our lives, and it also brings up all the crap that says we can’t have that. Resistance, denial, defenses, PTSD, trauma, fear and lack are all a part of what clogs up the works.
But really, getting crystal clear on what we want, both for ourselves and our contribution to the world, is the foundation of living your life purpose.
Your desires are actually how your life purpose is conveyed to you from the divine. What you want isn’t random, frivolous, irresponsible, or anything else that your old programming is telling you.
Your desires are sacred.
They’re a road map to your best life.
They have information on how to create the life you really want, and how to contribute in a way that deeply satisfies you. They are the way.
(And if figuring out what you want is hard to do, start by figuring out what you need to say no to.)
And if there is another step to the solution for self-compromise, it’s to take steps toward what you want.
Again, simple, but not so easy. This step is perhaps the hardest.
If you’re compromising yourself, you’re likely putting up with people and situations that drain you.
You’ll have to stop that.
You’ll also have to dig deep into what you want, and begin to take steps toward those things.
This means actively bringing those things into your life now.
Deeply feel and connect to your yearnings all the time, as a new way of being. Honor yourself by really feeling and experiencing them. Let yourself feel how much you want them, even as you’re currently taking steps toward them. Let them become inevitable.
So you don’t ever live in a way that you aren’t bringing in your future. You don’t take actions that aren’t directly, fruitfully, joyfully linked to what you want and your expectation of getting it.
In your business, this means you stop marketing yourself just to get a few clients, or get the bare minimum you need to survive. This isn’t about ‘getting by.’
Instead, begin to market yourself as a way to actively create the exact business you want. Then, marketing isn’t about doing what you ‘should’ be doing, it’s about clearly and powerfully creating the business and life you want.
When you’re talking about what you’re awesome at, and the stand you’re taking in the world, you’re a magnet for the success and opportunities you most want.
When you’re listening to what you want, you make brilliant business decisions.
Marketing becomes fun, strategy becomes obvious, and it gets easy and simple to attract clients, customers and opportunities that blow your mind.
So, stop compromising yourself in order to succeed, and start listening to who you were destined to be.